Digging Holes in a Field at Midnight During a Rainstorm

Suspicious? If you saw what I saw last night across the street from our house in the countryside, then… hell yes. Ok so it wasn’t quite midnight, but it was close enough to it, I had just reached into the fridge to eat one of Miss Slice’s incredibly rich and delicious strawberry rhubarb cupcakes… when I saw it. A car slowly driving down the road in front of our house, I took another bite – now a bit more curious. The car pulled off the road, parked, then readjusted and parked again, headlights shut off. Outside: pitch blackness, just the dim glow of the car’s secondary lights. Inside: me in a brightly lit window leaning closer to the pane, fervently munching on the cupcake. The car door opens and I see the silhouette of a figure making their way out of the car with a bucket in one hand and a 1/4 full black plastic trash bag in the other. The car door closes and I barely make out that they are headed around the front of the car. Now slightly more interested in what might potentially be occurring outside of our quaint ranch house, I flipped off the lights in the kitchen to get a better view. I waited, waited some more, then….. Miss Slice flipped the freakin lights back on in the middle of my stakeout. Of course she quickly flipped them off, but they were on long enough for someone to get a solid look at my face plastered to the window – eyes straining through the dark – cupcake crumbles down my shirt. The figure came back, it appeared to be a woman, and this time she was carrying an empty bucket and no trash bag. Hmm… 11pm + Rain + Car parked on side of road in the country + buckets and trash bags.

I am really not sure what to make of that, I even went out there with a flashlight after she left searching for evidence. I didn’t find any traces, even the next day I walked around the field scoping the ground for freshly disturbed dirt, footprints, drops……of blood. None. Just one final observation that will lead this situation even deeper into its mysterious beginnings – a hidden swamp in the field 100 yards from where the car was parked.

I will let you believe what you want, but for now take this away with you – if you are going to dig holes, please use the proper equipment: A rounded tip shovel, a pick axe, a large iron leverage bar, and at least a hint of daylight so as not to alarm the neighbors. Which brings me to the second part in my series of windmill building. This past weekend I dug the two foot hole for the foundation of my piping that will hold up the windmill. I mixed and filled it with 180 pounds of concrete, that should be enough to keep it from flying away during our fun Chinooks in the fall and winter (gale force winds ranging from 20 to 90 mph + ). I built this windmill partly to take advantage of those Chinooks, however it has been a great concern as to whether or not I will one day be searching through that swamp trying to find remnants of it only to come across a rotting leg that the lady from several months before decided to chuck instead of politely using her local waste service company.

Some advice about hole digging:

1. If you live anywhere near the Rocky Mountains your soil will be… rocky.

2. If you think you are going to bust through that 400 pound boulder that appeared 6 inches into your dig, you might think of repositioning your hole.

3. If you plan to start your dig at around 1pm on a sunny, 94 degree day, you may want to pay a local nurse to hook you up to an IV with a saline solution and an extendable cord that will allow you to get on your knees as you vehemently curse at the 8 inches of hole that will have been created in the last 2 hours.

4. Maybe stop digging when the thunder storm is about a 2 second count away.

5. On second thought – wait until several thunderstorms have passed directly over your hole dig location, moistening up the ground before you even begin.

6. And finally, this has nothing to do with hole digging but, if you are going to buy a Dremel – you will only find one good use for it: cutting steel rebar with the one decently designed reinforced composite bit.

Good Day.